if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
