16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
