Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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