it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
