i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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