"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
