dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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