so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
