oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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