used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Randomize
