I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Still dying that you shit outside
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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