if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
