This is not my ceiling
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
