I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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