Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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