Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Text me some of your sweat
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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