The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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