I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
