I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
