i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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