I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
