If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
