So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
