so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
