Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
