If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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