are you so shy because you have an std?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
