also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
