hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
