I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He shit in the fireplace
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
