Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
