"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
