Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
