This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
