He had one of those small greek statue penises
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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