He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
