I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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