Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
