He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
