I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
