a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
