I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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