escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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