We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
