Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
