Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
