Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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