YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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