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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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