I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
